Monday Morning Headlines: EMBEARASSED

I can’t get over how many HORRID teams there are in the NFL this season. The Bucs were punked by the Pats 35-7 while the Rams were slaughtered by the Colts 42-6. Both teams are now a combined 0-14. (Tampa Tribune)  (St. Louis Post Dispatch)

Mike Singletary made a call to the bullpen at halftime and Alex Smith nearly led the 49ers to a comeback back win against the Texans before falling short 24-21. (SF Chronicle)

Just days after receiving a two-year extension, Jay Cutler threw 3 more INT’s and watched Carson Palmer throw for 233 yards and 5 TD’s as the Bengals crushed the Bears in a shocker 45-10 (shocking not because who won, but by how much). Former Bear Cedric Benson stuck it to his former squad, rushing for a career-high 189 yards and a TD. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Will somebody please shut down the Jake Delhomme experience? Anybody? (Charlotte Observer)

Ladies and gentlemen, the Raiders benched JaMarcus Russell…for an equally dismal Bruce Gradkowski. Jets bounce back and roll 38-0. (Oakland Tribune)

A shoot-out in South Beach. Miami raced out to an early 24-3 lead before Drew Brees woke up and put the Saint s ahead for good in the 4th quarter. Saints outlast the ‘Fins 40-34 and improve to 6-0, best in the NFC. (Miami Herald)

Am I seeing this correctly? The Cards, who never play well on the east coast, roll into the Meadowlands and beat the Giants 24-17. G-men have now all of a sudden lost two straight. At least the Yankees won. (NY Times)

Joe Gibbs squashed any and all rumors that he’s returning to the Redskins. (Redskins Insider)

Monday Morning Headlines: The Sanchise gets Buffaloed

The 2007 Patriots showed up in a Nor’easter and embarrassed the Titans 59-0 – and it wasn’t even that close. Tom Brady is now the only QB in NFL history to have thrown 5 TD passes in one quarter. It still boggles my mind that a 13-3 team from just a season ago (Titans) has fallen this far. (Boston Globe)

Speaking of falling hard, the Redskins keep finding new lows. On Sunday, they allowed the woeful Chiefs to punk them in front of a half-filled FedExField, 14-6. Kansas City’s 32nd ranked defense overwhelmed an anemic Redskins offense. If you’re keeping score at home, Washington has now given the Lions, Panthers and Chiefs their first wins of the season. Pathetic. (Washington Post)

Just hours after the game, head coach Jim Zorn was stripped of his play-calling duties by upper management. And he is apparently OK with it. Tony Dungy thinks Zorn should have stood his ground. (DC Sports Bog)

The game of the day was in Minnesota. After another Favre 4th quarter comeback that put the Vikings up 33-31, Joe Flacco drove the Ravens into field goal range only to see Steve Hauschka miss a 44 yarder. Vikes improve to 6-0. Minnesota is now the class of the NFC along with… (Star Tribune)

The Saints! Fresh off a bye week, Drew Brees carved up the #1 defense in the NFL for 369 passing yards and 4 TD’s as the Saints throttled the Giants 48-27. New Orleans has already put up 45+ points in three games this season. (Times-Picayune)

More fans showed up for the Cincinnati-USF game on Thursday night than the Panthers-Bucs game on Sunday. Tampa Bay falls to 0-6 after losing to Carolina 28-21. (Pro Football Talk)

We’d like to apologize for encouraging you to pick the Jets this week in your survivor pool. The Mark Sanchez love fest has got to stop. Please don’t refer to this dude as ‘The Sanchise’ until he actually puts the team on his shoulders and wins a game. Five picks against the Bills isn’t going to cut it. Those dagger mistakes single-handedly wasted 318 yards on the ground and a solid effort from the Jets’ D. (NY Post)

The Raiders beat the Eagles??? The NFC East was 0-3 on Sunday. (Philly.com)

So much for being 16-0 when Matt Hasselbeck’s mom attends a game at Qwest Field. The Cards dismantled the Seahawks in front of the 12th man, 27-3. (Seattle Times)

The nightcap in the ATL didn’t disappoint. The Falcons answered both Bears TD’s with scores of their own and got the W 21-14. Jay Cutler has now thrown 6 INT’s on Sunday Night Football this season. (Chicago Tribune)

Memo to Suzy Kolber: He’s Just Not That Into You

After a come-from-behind victory against a division rival, would you rather: A) celebrate by going home to Gisele or B) stop to talk to Suzy Kolber? Tom Brady picked A. (Awful Announcing)

The Raiders may have lost to the Chargers, but I give them the edge for best throwback uni’s.

We’ve already entered must-win territory in Washington. (Washington Post)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Brian Urlacher’s replacement, HUNTER HILLENMEYER!! (Chicago Tribune)             

To make room for Carmella Decesare’s husband, the Eagles are trying to deal Kendra Wilkinson’s husband. What, Philly’s not big enough for two Playmates? (Philly.com)