Memo to Suzy Kolber: He’s Just Not That Into You

After a come-from-behind victory against a division rival, would you rather: A) celebrate by going home to Gisele or B) stop to talk to Suzy Kolber? Tom Brady picked A. (Awful Announcing)

The Raiders may have lost to the Chargers, but I give them the edge for best throwback uni’s.

We’ve already entered must-win territory in Washington. (Washington Post)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Brian Urlacher’s replacement, HUNTER HILLENMEYER!! (Chicago Tribune)             

To make room for Carmella Decesare’s husband, the Eagles are trying to deal Kendra Wilkinson’s husband. What, Philly’s not big enough for two Playmates? (Philly.com)

Week 1 Quick Hits – Eagles Fly High, Broncos Buck Bengals

What did we learn from Kickoff Weekend? You’re about to find out:

Philadelphia 38, Carolina 10 – It’s early, but the Eagles look like the best team in the NFC after Week 1. The defense was flying around like maniacs, forcing Jake Delhomme into as bad a performance you’ll ever see from a quarterback. Of greater concern is the shot to the ribs McNabb took in the third quarter, forcing him to bow out early. It looks as if McNabb will sit out next week against the Saints. As for the Panthers, where do you go from here? Delhomme has committed 11 turnovers in his last two meaningful games and Matt Moore is the only other healthy QB on the roster. Someone get Jeff Garcia on the horn.

Indianapolis 14, Jacksonville 12 - A weird, low-scoring game that saw one of Peyton Manning’s top targets, Anthony Gonzalez, leave the game with a knee injury. Reggie Wayne more than picked up the slack with 162 yards receiving and a touch. The Jaguars offense was pedestrian and I’m not sure Maurice Jones-Drew can touch the ball 25+ times a game without wearing down.

New Orleans 45, Detroit 27 - Drew Brees went bananas on the Lions, throwing for 358 yards and 6 TD’s, tying a team record. Marino’s passing record was officially put on notice. Rookie Matthew Stafford tossed three picks and only hooked up with Megatron three times, albeit one was for 64 yards. The culture is changing in Detroit, but baby steps…

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Fat Albert vs. Brandon Jacobs

‘Skins vs. Giants is a huge NFC East treat in Week 1. Who isn’t excited to see Brandon Jacobs try to run through the brick wall that is Albert Haynesworth? The trash talking has been well documented this week, first Haynesworth acting rather unimpressed with Jacobs’ size:

“They all fall the same, so it doesn’t really matter. None of them are bigger than me, so it doesn’t really matter to me,” Haynesworth said. “What is he, 250? I weighed 250 when I was in the 10th grade.”

True Albert, and I love the swag, but Jacobs has been a load that the ‘Skins haven’t been able to handle over the past few seasons. He got LaRon last year - here’s hoping you can return the favor.

‘Skins vs. Giants 4:15 pm (EST)

Brodie Croyle to Start in Baltimore, Wife Still Hot

Adam Schefter’s Twitter is an absolutle gold mine for NFL nuggets. BREAKING NEWS – Brodie Croyle will get the start over an injured Matt Cassel today in Baltimore. Bad news for Chiefs fans: Croyle is 0-8 as a starter. The good news for Brodie? His wife is still smokin’ hot. Play on playa.

Schefter is also reporting that Kyle Orton will start against the Bengals. You want AFC West quarterback updates, YOU GOT IT!!

Chris Paul Week 1 Redskins Song – H.T.T.R.

It’s Game Day!! For all you ‘Skins fans, Chris Paul is celebrating his 16th season of making some pretty awesome Redskins Remixes. Check out his latest track slamming the G-Men, “H.T.T.R.”:

Do any other teams have weekly anthems like this?? If so, let us know and if they’re any good, we’ll put ‘em up. For more from Chris Paul, check out his website (he’s got another funny video called “I Wanna Play”).

Half of the Madden Curse is Complete – Watch Your Neck, Larry

Wow, that didn’t take long. Two quarters of football in the books and BOOM, Troy Polamolu becomes Madden’s latest cover boy casualty. Larry Fitzgerald has got to be shaking in his dreads. (TMZ)

I know Cris Collinsworth was a pretty good player. I also know he’s a damn good analyst. But chasing ‘not so bright’ girls through the streets of Cincinnatti with wads of Benjamin’s hanging out of his pockets? That I did not know. Easy Cris! (Deadspin)

Speaking of Cincy, Champ Bailey is all set to “Kiss ‘Da Baby” tomorrow in the Queen City. Ochocinco’s back baby, DULCE VENGANZA!! (FanIQ)

It looks like Richard Seymour is finally ready to turn himself in to the Black Hole. He’s waiting, Richie. (Oakland Tribune)

DA closes case against Bolts LB Shawne Merriman. (NFL)

Bold Predictions for 2009 – Steelers are Repeat Defenders

September – the month when every team has hope, all fans have Super Bowl dreams and every pundit in America thinks they know how the upcoming NFL script will play out. By February, hope turns to despair and Super Bowl dreams become nightmares for all but one. As for the pundits, always wrong.  ALWAYS. Without further adieu, the 2009 NFL season according to yours truly:

Coach of the Year: Gary Kubiak, Texans – Houston makes the playoffs for the first time in franchise history as the offense thrives in the zone blocking scheme Kubiak helped make so famous in Denver.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Percy Harvin, Vikings - Favre and Harvin will make defenses pay if they continue to stack eight in the box.  Just lay off that Gator green, Percy. … Continue Reading

Impact Faces in New Places

As we get ready to begin the 2009-10 NFL season, it is worth noting the player movement in the league and how certain players will impact their new teams.  Here is a look at the players who I view will have the biggest impact in their new homes:

5. Terrell Owens, Buffalo Bills - TO and his love me some me attitude signed in Orchard Park after being released by the Dallas Cowboys.  It was a great move by the Bills who have been in obscurity for a number of seasons.  TO gives the Bills a 1-2-3 punch with Lee Evans and Marshawn Lynch.  The question now becomes can Trent Edwards distribute the ball properly without this move imploding.  If he can the Bills could compete with the Dolphins for second place in the AFC East and a possible wild card slot. … Continue Reading

Quick Hit AFC Preview

AFC EAST

1. New England Patriots – It’s pretty simple – if Brady and Moss both stay healthy, no AFC East team will come within 4 games of the Pats. After dealing Richard Seymour to Oakland, it’s clear that getting younger on defense is a priority. But if you can put up 40 plus a game, does it really matter? Projected Record: 12-4

2. New York Jets – The 2009 Jets will be a poor man’s version of the 2008 Ravens. Play close, ugly games with a rookie quarterback  and see how each week shakes out. Sexy Rexy has already called out opposing players and put the Patriots on notice - how could you not want to play for this guy? Projected Record: 8-8

3. Miami Dolphins – A team very similar to the Falcons - won a lot of close games in 2008 with a 4th place schedule. Not only do the ‘Fins have to play the NFC South this season, but sprinkle in games against the Titans, Chargers and the Super Bowl Champs. Sparano is one hell of a coach, but the talent in South Beach is average at best. Projected Record: 8-8

4. Buffalo Bills – One of three teams this preseason that’s already canned their OC. Their offense was putrid in August  and even though they get T.O. back to start the regular season, they lose Beast Mode for the first three games. Oh, and they play the Patriots Week 1. Yuck. Projected Record: 6-10

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Quick Hit NFC Preview

NFC EAST

1. New York Giants – The defense will still crack heads and as hard as it is to say or believe, Eli Manning is a Super Bowl winning quarterback. Domenik Hixon and Hakeem Nicks play the role of Plaxico Buress just fine for Big Blue.  Projected Record: 10-6

2. Dallas Cowboys – New stadium, scoreboard issues, no T.O. – there’s quite a bit going on in Big D. By the end of the season, everyone in the NFL will know the name Felix Jones. But the Cowboys still can’t win a playoff game.  Projected Record: 9-7

3. Philadelphia Eagles – Loaded offensively, but the defense has taken one too many hits. The late Jim Johnson, Brian Dawkins (Broncos) and Stewart Bradley (IR) were arguably the three most important pieces to the ’08 D. Over/Under for Philly fans to start calling for Vick: Week 7.  Projected Record: 9-7

4. Washington Redskins – Jim Zorn better learn how to make on-the-fly adjustments real soon. ‘Skins started last season 6-2, ended 2-6. All it took was a little bit of game film for the league to catch up to JZ. I love Jason Campbell, but his downfall may ultimately be what he wasn’t given – a viable #2 receiver. Lace up, Malcolm Kelly.  Projected Record: 8-8

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